Gargling Glass(Private)

Once a year. If he was lucky. If something managed to set off a big enough coughing fit- say- a smoke bomb, he might have a few hours of unpleasantness. But there usually weren’t smoke bombs or extreme irritants enough to make a vampire cough in one’s day to day life thankfully. And if he was able to see it coming he could just hold his breath- all the better to avoid the whole thing.

Once a year on the Summer solstice the Rosite mana crystals go through a growth spurt. They’re always there. Its just this time of year that they get to unmanageable concentrations in my lungs and I’m forced to cough them up.

The typing was a nice distraction from the pain, which without his medication that as about as much as he could do. Soon he’d have it. But until then this was as good as anything he had. He let Ryse see the screen, and upon arriving at his apartment put the phone away to grab his keys. He failed to mention that this coughing spell would last about a week. If he did that she might want to stick around to help, and he didn’t want to take any more time than he already had.

Then again. If she asked outright he was hesitant to lie to her… She did not take kindly to such things. And for good reason of course.

Ozaki opened the door to his apartment, revealing a relatively clean apartment. The living area was relatively simple, with a few couches congregated around a medium sized TV. A few dishes in the sink, the bag of Doritos still open on the counter. Those were going to go stale. But he couldn’t worry about his roommates bad habits right now… Looked like she wasn’t here though.

That was fine.

He’d point toward the direction of his room, at which point he’d go for his phone again to type, Sorry for the mess. Don’t get many guests. Though he had gotten enough to at least hide away the dregs of his Dracula figurine stash. He was a little old to have those.

Upon entering his room she would indeed find it a mess. The bed was unmade, and there was a book shelf of about four feet tall with no apparent order to the arrangement of the books. And a desk sprawled with various notes and bookmarked books. Ozaki liked to pride himself as putting on a very professional demeanor at his job. When on the clock everything had a place, and he was fastidious in keeping it that way.

But by the time the clock ran out that left him with little energy or care to bother about his own room. There was a certain glee in having things all in order and looking neat. Besides this room was orderly. To him.

There was the cloths dresser- mainly for cloths he rarely ever wore- then the clean cloths pile and the dirty cloths pile. And tucked away in the corner Ryse would see a mini fridge of Ozaki’s very own in the room.

The medicine’s going to be in the fridge. One of the clear bottles.

Within the fridge itself was a collection of 6 two inch tall bottles with grey metallic caps. The type you mind picture at a doctor’s office, except these did not have labels. There was also about a dozen or so blood packs prepared as well. Ozaki had prepared well for this week and the amount of blood he would loose from it… Shame he hadn’t remembered the damn day it started.

The vampire typed away at the answer to her first question as she left him on the couch and went into his room to get the medication.

The vampire variant I am has usually passes on one inheritable trait from the sire, which marks those they sire as part of the line. Could be anything, like a physical trait, a talent, or something else. I must have got it from him.

Usually only one trait was passed on. But one trait could look like multiple ones at times. And there were of course exceptions. This must be one of them. Ozaki had sired one vampire in his time, and she had inherited the crystals… Most unfortunate… So he had to have gotten them from his sire too.

Ozaki took the bottle as it was offered to him, taking the liquid into his mouth and drinking it through his fangs. It was a cheaty method for vampires which enabled them to get blood into their system instantaneously. Ozaki’s particular usage of it in this case was to make it so that the painkillers in the bottle would take effect quickly.

Also because if he had asked Ryse to go get a needle from his desk drawer she might get the wrong impression when she saw how many there were. He was not some druggie- he just liked using fresh needles when harvesting blood from people so as not to transmit diseases. Plus, again, this is faster.

I have a roommate, two even. Neither of them seems to be here though. Maybe the phoenix girl had gone shopping with Jiyu or was just wandering about. Hopefully she didn’t get lost. He had plans to enroll her into the Academy come this spring and had already started on the paperwork. The girl was currently crashing on the futon in the living room since this place did not yet have anything better set up… But it was better than her previous living conditions. He should ask Ryse about the girl sometime. She seemed like she’d be a good person to introduce Reshi to. But not now. Now was the flu season from hell for him.

The pain was quickly evaporating as the drug took hold, his pupils widening slightly as well.

Due to the inheritable traits of the Cursed variant there have been a few sub-species created that have resulted from generations of various traits sometimes combining in weird ways.

As for curing this, the only way to do that would be to do a complete lung transplant to get the tainted shit out of them. For obvious reasons a vampire isn’t exactly at the top of the transplant list… Then again I suppose I do have an unlimited amount of time to wait.

If the crystal percentage in his lungs grew too big, a coughing fit would be triggered to purge the excess. But that usually did not happen until the Summer Solstice. At which point medication to suppress the coughs would be the worst idea of all time. Hence why, Ryse would realize, Ozaki hadn’t stopped coughing. The only thing it seemed to have changed was that the coughs sounded less painful.

Ozaki got up from the couch, seeming to struggle a little less with walking now that he at the very least didn’t have to experience the agony of coughing up the crystals or the persistent aching and stabbing sensation in his chest as the crystals grew out of control within him.

He’d go to the kitchen and grab a red bowl from one of the cabinets, then had to resort to using the hemlick maneuver on himself to get the sizable crystal that had been lodged in his throat out and into the bowl. This resulted in… Of course more damage. But that was just inevitable at this point. Nothing to be done for it.

Except maybe get someone to rip one of his lungs out and wait for it to regenerate, then rip out the other one after that point. Assuming the newly made lung didn’t get reinfected it ought work. He could have both removed at once… But that was coma inducing levels of fuckery. Or else drinking a shit ton of oxygen enriched blood to make up the difference. But probably a bit of both.

Jiyu’s doing well enough, but she keeps forgetting to use her oxygen depriver consistently and that’s messing with her.

He sent this over in a text to Ryse before going over an sitting back down on the couch again.

Yup. Was his response in her asking if he was the cursed variant, and if that was why he was weak to those two things.

Granted… If he had been waiting longer than anyone that would in part be because he had never bothered to put his name on the list to begin with.

Up until recently he wouldn’t have really thought he deserved such a thing at all. That any suffering he endured he only experienced because he deserved to. For both the people he killed… And those his father killed, whom he had blamed himself for for so many years. To be honest… It was hard not to think that way still.

He’d just been thinking that way for so long… Even this kind of pain had felt like some yearly divine retribution for the sins he had felt responsible for. Ozaki couldn’t tell if it was the drugs or just the weight of that thought… But the sheer irony of this scenario was now, that his throat was cut up, when talking was the worst idea imaginable…

He actually did feel a pressing urge to talk about it with someone. And given that Ryse already knew about his own father, and she knew about his… And her general nature. She was a teen though. And he was an adult… He shouldn’t feel the need to talk about his feelings with a kid. Ozaki looked down at his phone as he began to feel his eyes water up.

That would be nice.

Drinking anything would probably not end up being a great idea considering the state his throat would be come morning. Even if it had extra healing properties that would only make his throat healed enough to be ripped into anew. But if she came in the morning. Maybe he could talk, or rather, text her then. Would that not be pathetic of him though? Needing to talk to someone who wasn’t even out of high school yet? 

Are you sure? You look tired. This could wait until morning. Those were all thoughts that ran through Ozaki’s head in that moment. And all thoughts he had to immediately quiet. Would he leave someone who was nearly on the brink of tears?

“I… I.” It felt so unnatural to be actually about to say these words out loud to someone. His voice was hoarse in the extreme, but still he forced himself to continue. As dumb as it was to speak out loud… He wanted to. He hesitantly returned the hug, holding onto Ryse like a life raft as the tears began to overflow.

“I thought I deserved this… Anything that happened I thought it was just what I deserved for the sins I’d committed, for those I caused… Sins, as it turned out, I didn’t even… It wasn’t my fault. I never even tried putting my name on the list because I thought it was what I deserved. Like… Some sort of divine punishment.”

Ozaki could blame Mordred, he could blame his father. But how much pain had he caused himself over the years simply in believing anything bad that happened to him was just what he deserved in the first place? Not even just these crystals but... But everything. That no matter what kind of shit others would put him through, it was what he deserved. So he couldn't really complain. Couldn't really get upset. He had it coming. But... But he hadn't. And rather than overwhelming anger, Ozaki just felt incredibly sad about that right now. 

“I want to believe it. I know I should.” Ozaki rasped. “If literally anyone else came and told me this story I would tell them it wasn’t their fault too…" 

His work around for the feral state drinking blood from someone put him in… Was a stroke of brilliance. Learning it had not only enabled him to feed himself, but others who might have need of it. And now with the power of the blood devil venom, if need be he could single handedly feed hundreds of vampires. He had taken the job in inventory management above all to ensure that the blood supplies at the school never went short. That if a hemophage needed to rely on the school for blood, for whatever reason, they would never find themselves at a loss for it.

His hardships had crafted him into a different man, a different kind of vampire. Sure at times it made him a freak amongst his own kind… But this freak was one who had gained the ability to feed so many. He could and should take pride in that.

“But… Its so hard to forgive myself for the things I did… My sins, the deaths I caused because I couldn’t control myself. I didn’t know how. I… I didn’t have anyone there.” No one. Not his father. Not his sire. He should shut up… He really should. But… Why couldn’t he? Because… Because this was the truth. And if she hated him for the truth well… He supposed he could hypnotize her to forget it worse come to worse.

But he didn’t want to do that. He wanted to tell the truth right now. And not be hated for it. To not be rejected.

Ozaki, hating to ruin the moment, had to cover his mouth catch the results of whatever this new coughing fit brought. Control himself… No. He couldn’t control himself at all… But then again. He could. The choice to drink from blood packets rather than ever directly from someone was a choice to control himself. But was it ever not a shame that he couldn’t…

He’d try. After this week was over. He’d try. After he went and put his name on that list… Either that or accept one of his shady coworker’s offers from the handful that knew of this condition of his. Inventory management had a motto- waste not want not. If anyone took a dead or alive bounty job outside of their work you could be certain that within the next couple of days pieces of that bounty would turn up in inventory.

If you said dead or alive you best be damn clear what state you wanted the body in, lest you only get a head. It wasn’t a fact that Ozaki liked taking advantage of. But… Maybe this this case he would. For literally anyone else who had this problem he might recommend that.

But that was besides the point right now… He really should let it go. He may have suffered in the past, but all of that was then. And this was now. Even his mother had tried to convince him of that. But… It was hard.

“Its so hard to let it go.” He whispered hoarsely as his palm closed over the terribly sharp sharps of Rosite Mana crystal he had just coughed up. He should. He should. The weeping vampire knew she was right. “Its been a part of me for so long… This guilt. I don’t know to just… Stop feeling that way.”