Mar 24, 2019 23:31:55 GMT -6
Post by Yuuki Ozaki on Mar 24, 2019 23:31:55 GMT -6
Ozaki had had a hell of a day. And while he was anxious to call the blood devil, he had decided to wait until he got home while he ruminated over what had happened. While that hadn’t necessarily been Nyx, the fact that her body had compelled the person to be like that meant that it was in fact, what she was.
The male blood devil had been right. The phone rang a couple of times before someone picked up. “Hey… Ozaki here. Turns out Bani was right. About everything.” He said in a weary voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The female was laying out spread on the couch, turned to face her daughter as she helped the young girl with the beginnings to conditioning by basically setting out several blocks and only letting her destroy ones of the correct color. "Well, he was always going to be right to a degree Ozaki, come on I'm watching my little girl destroy blocks instead of stack them. But what happened? No Zena! Red Not Blue, say bye to the blocks you're on time out! It seems like a sudden turn around to say he was right about everything." while she had not initially known why they had fought her husband had caught her up on the entire thing several days later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Ozaki wrapped himself in his wings and lay down on his bed, keeping the phone to his ear. “She… She went a little… I don’t know. But it… By Dracula I’m such an idiot for thinking I knew better than a blood devil about Nyx. He was right. He was right and there’s no way I can do this.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picking up the blocks with her blood manipulation the red head moved them out of her daughters range for the moment, out of sight leaving the girl to pout in front of her and enter a rage of blood manipulating. "What? How do you not know if you were there." she had a slight smirk in her voice alongside confusion. "It's not uncommon dude, lots of other species thought they knew better than us on ourselves for centuries, proclaimed the truth was our excuse for bloodshed." from the screaming of a baby in the background it was clear they didn't just make excuses for their violence it was natural for them. "But, Nyx is different to some extent otherwise she wouldn't be able to live even a day as a pacifist through the pain." than she caught up to the part it sounded like he was planning on abandoning the girl he was playing father to. "So you're just going to abandon her? Geeze dude, she's been raised to be averse to everything that makes us the most happy. What is she going to do if she loses her family too? For what sounds like it could be the third time in her life." she scoffed it, needing more to go on before she could help but not liking the idea of the man abandoning the young devil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It was complicated. It was her, but it wasn’t her. But a different version of her maybe? But it was still her body and it made me realize your husband was right about blood devils. She kept going on about some god of hers, that she would bleed everyone and offer their skulls to her God Chaoris or something like that.” Might as well explain what had happened. It might end up offering some insight. Maybe he was a god of the blood devils or something.
Was Nyx always in pain? He wondered. Apparently she had always been starving, she just hadn’t known it because she was so used to it. And she’d rarely ever complained. Always so sweet, polite. And in that much hunger and pain all along. He felt terrible at the very idea of her hurting so much. He bit his lip, trying to keep himself together for the phone call despite how much he felt like crying. Despite his best efforts his sorrow crept into his voice as he spoke. “I don’t want to abandon her. I… I…”
What did he want? “I want what’s best for her. And I don’t think that’s me. Its you guys. Your island, with her own kind.”
He was terrified for the Academy he had made home, afraid she might kill a lot of people, and that he might end up having to hurt her to make her stop. He couldn’t do that. She wasn’t fit to be in this society, not as she would become. The blood devils might be able to help her. But him? No. Ozaki wasn’t good enough, he didn’t know shit about raising a blood devil and it had been arrogant for him to assume he had it handled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You can't do that to her." the woman's voice broke slightly, easily recalling the way she called after her own general before they had joined the army, her goddess. "Listen dude, I knew for her parents to have abandoned her they had to be dead, it's so hard for us to have children we never let go of them until they're grown, but I didn't phantom it was this bad." she was nearly crying at the idea of what had to have happened to the girl in her mind. "Often times we call the Rage Beast we serve under or live and travel with our god. It's always a group of seven. If she was calling after a god it means that somehow all six other devils and their beast were killed and didn't revive causing her being left alone to fall into a humans hands. That's at the least, it's likely several groups were eradicated to leave her that lost. We're obsessive over our young even if we're not the parents, if no one knew she was missing every devil and beast involved with her from birth until orphanage is dead or they'd be tearing up the country looking for her. Please tell me she doesn't remember again anymore, you took it from her, please say you erased it. I can't imagine living with that. No wonder a human could condition her like that, she was already broken when he got her." since she started speaking her own daughter had crawled into her lap and she hugged the tiny devil tightly, smoothing down her hair thinking of all the way's she'd hurt someone who ever tried to cause the same thing for her devil's. "What's best is not loosing her family again, I'm surprised she can still love, if those were memories... I can't. Even if she wiped it from her mind there's no doubt she still feels it." in her mind this perfectly explained why a human had been able to condition a pacifist devil, nails digging into her own hands until they bled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How old was Nyx anyways? This sounded like she had had quite the eventful life even before ending up in her human father’s care. He was using the loosest definition of the term there. “I didn’t do any of that… But I think she may remember at some point. There’s these moments where she seems to change. Like what happened today. Its like she’s a different person. And I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle that person. Your husband was right. She is a wolf. I’m not good enough to handle a wolf. Its impossible. I hate how right it was. I do want her to stay a cute puppy forever. But that’s not what she is. One day she’ll grow up, and what she’ll become…”
Ozaki started to overflow with tears at this point as a panic attack started to seize him. “I can’t… I… I’m no good. A father’s supposed to love their child no matter what. But I’m afraid. I’m afraid of the people she might hurt, afraid I might not be able to do anything about it. I won’t be enough, I can’t be enough. Its impossible. I was an idiot for thinking I could be a father, I’ll just end up doing something terrible to her and she’ll be worse off for it.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eventually she calmed enough to let her daughter back onto the ground softly, thinking hard about the situation. "If it's just moments, chances are something is riling her memories." which also explained the weirdness of her prior paternal figure seeming to allow her no conflict of any sort. As her brain thought deeply? It made even more sense as she realized the talk of skulls, something most blood devils didn't typically care for beyond manipulating them. "If you are right about the skull part, chances are Ba was more right than even he thought about her." the mention of skulls bothered her so heavily, to be focused on that meant Nyx may have belonged to a group that was fringe even for devils.
"If my guess is right she's not just a wolf but something along the lines of their ancestors capable of hunting them down without trouble." but, that wouldn't make sense it would make the girl far older than she was. "Chances are she's descended from survivors of the groups we mostly managed to eliminated, it had to be done due to failure to assimilate into society, Nyx is far too young to have been directly from those groups though so it's likely she didn't inherit the full force of their savagery." if they hadn't put a dent into those groups forcing them to breed with less savage groups than it would have been trouble for living in modern society and far as she knew most survivors now saw that, even if they were still more brutal than the rest.
Taking a breathe she gave her daughter the blocks back, thinking further. "Even the most savage wolf protects its own pack. I can't tell you she won't hurt anyone, heck I can't promise you won't have to kill her sometimes if her memories were to return. However, I can assure you that even an end result of you killing her is something she'd favor over being abandoned if she regained her memories." she sighed with regret as she looked out the window remembering once more back to those bloody fights. "When I helped fight them, I remember so clearly one of them I took down laying there talking to me as he died for the last time, he was so happy it had been me instead of a stranger, said he knew that I hadn't used any dirty tricks and he didn't mind dying honorably." what she said implied they could actually die, for good, in spite of their regeneration ability, which was almost the truth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What had happened in this case? What had triggered it? Ozaki wish he’d been there so he could understand. Maybe he’d ask her later… But could he even look her in the eyes after what he’d thought about her? And the woman’s words about maybe having to kill her rang in his ears. That was just what he had been thinking. “But I can’t kill her… I could never forgive myself. I can’t even forgive myself for even having those thoughts. The way I was thinking today… When I saw that version of her… It must be what <i>he</i> thinks when he sees me…”
Ozaki paused for a moment, then realized that he had just said that part aloud. “Forget I said that last bit.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally upon his next words she sighed realizing that this may have been less about Nyx and more about the male himself, carefully picking up her infant. "Do me a favor dude, just cut your finger and smear it on the floor." the request was odd, but she knew what she was doing here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That was an odd request to make, but the vampire didn’t see any harm in it. At least not any harm he cared about at this very instant. Ozaki nipped his index finger with a fang and rolled over, struggling for a moment to get his arm out of his wings which were tightly wrapped around him so he could smear a bit on the ground. He rubbed at his eyes to stem the flow of tears, but was unsuccessful in truly stopping them. Damn… Oh well. At least no one could see him in this pathetic state. Once that was done he pulled his arm back in and burrowed himself further in his wings, so nothing but the top of his head was visible and his voice had a faint echoing quality on the phone. “I did it.” He said in a subdued voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was odd, but there was one thing she hadn't informed him of when he did his research before, he had seen her husband teleport through blood, yet failed to learn the limits of it. Several long moments of dead silence and mumbling as she handed the infant off to its father would fill the sounds before the phone went dead.
Suddenly she was in his room, red hair falling around her as she stumbled slightly and collapsed against the floor unconscious for a brief moment. "Alright that's farther than I've went in a long time like that." shaking her head and standing up she walked over to where he was curled up in his wings. "Mind if I sit next to you?" Alisa wanted to know where she'd be setting herself down until she was done with this after-all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ozaki waited for as long was needed, not really in the mood to rush her to do anything. Alisa was probably doing something or another with the kid. At least that’s what it sounded like. Why she had to do that in the middle of the call he didn’t know but…
Oh damn there was someone in his room. It was very lucky for Ozaki that she fell unconscious for a little bit upon arrival, as he had wiped out his dagger quicker than he even had time to think. No one should be able to just come in- oh. Her. They could teleport this far? That was impressive. And a bit scary that they could just do it like that.
The vampire quickly put his dagger away on his belt before she came to, and stood crouching with his wings partially unfurled. Upon realizing her intentions weren’t hostile, Ozaki sat back down, wings wrapping around himself again. It was a gesture very reminiscent of someone hugging themselves as tightly as they could. “Why are you here?” He asked through gritted teeth, doing his best not to bare his fangs at her. He had seen what blood devils were capable of, her husband had taken every effort to ensure he did. The vampire couldn’t afford to set her off.
Yet even for that Ozaki was not able to let his guard down and embarrassed as all hell she had suddenly appeared while he was weeping like some stupid kid. He rubbed at his eyes with his wing, trying to stop crying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sighing when she realized he was every bit as stubborn as the male devils she was adjusted to dealing with Alisa chose that she was just going to take her own liberties. The red head sat down right next to him one wing unfurling to refurl around him as she sighed softly. "Oh come on I live with dozens of men who don't think half their emotions matter every day or that they can just will away bullshit, you think I wouldn't realize there's more here than just Nyx at play? Don't go yanking my chain." she would laugh softly moving forward with the attempt to poke his forehead as if he should have realized this. "Whatever it is, you haven't talked about it properly yet, I can tell that and its affecting you deeply. From what you said before I assume someone in your family didn't take well when you were turned and maybe even disliked things like yourself before you turned?" Alisa was far from stupid, and out of concern for the child she wanted this bullshit dealt with promptly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When he felt the wing furl around him he had the impulse to push her away. How dare she presume to get that close to him? To just… He didn’t need comforting from some stranger. The hell did she think she was doing hugging some random guy? And the frettting side of him worried of her husband found out if he might get mad. This species could teleport through blood. And he dealt with far too much blood to be safe.
But… Part of him knew that that fretting was ridiculous. And more than anything he just wanted to be held by something other than his own wings. He wanted a hug more than anything. And now he was getting one, not all the pride in the world could get him to push away. There was a hunger inside him even more powerful than his thirst for blood, and that was for connection. This warm soft embrace of a parent, understanding. No matter how old he got he could not shake that yearning.
He ended up sobbing even harder. Ozaki didn’t know what to say. He was afraid that if she told him the truth, she wouldn’t really understand. She’d just scoff at him for it. But she’d already figured out half of it on her own as it was. And she wasn’t judging him poorly. “He…” Ozaki was uncertain of saying this out loud. A blood devil like she was bound to go off the handle. But worn down as he felt, it was hard to stop himself.
“He… He. M-my father. He won’t g-. He wants to- I mean. I don’t blame him. I mean I did kill.. B-b-b-but. But its h-hard.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The female traced patterns on the wing not wrapped around him, by now she was used to being a source of comfort especially since her band of devil's contained many who had been in some way related to the elimination targets back than. "I think I understand." she frowned slightly, placing her hand on top of his head with another sigh. "Of course its hard." her frown turned back into a partial smile as the devil thought about how to speak to a species that put more value on life than her own did. "While I'd like to take up sword over it and beat some sense into him. It's more important for you to realize that regardless of your actions, you're not responsible for his. Things happen in life, unpredictable things, we can't control how someone else will react to them." he couldn't change his father just by wishing hard, and if he focused so hard on the motives of the other man it would corrupt him.
"If you think that you know how he feels, think of how you feel and than wonder for a second how Nyx may feel, the child is intelligent, she's already aware. I can't imagine fighting myself the way she fights herself, she's away from the person who conditioned her why do you think she still does it?" likely the same hope that kept Ozaki from blaming his father for whatever had transpired since he'd been turned into a vampire in spite of the fact it was entirely the older mans fault. "Sure he raised you and often times you may think like him thanks to it, but that doesn't have to define you. Decide to control it instead of letting it control you, just because you're afraid of her doesn't mean you can't love her, nor does it mean you can't confront her if you ever need to. Even in those moments you can love instead of hate." she couldn't promise it would do anything to change things, but it would make a difference inside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well. She was no Dawn to say the least. He was glad she wasn’t just going to fly off the handle and try and hunt him down like the majin would. No matter what Ozaki didn’t want his father’s death. Even if maybe he should at this point.
His mind mulled over her words multiple times. Even now he knew that he’d be thinking more on them later. The vampire wished he had his journal in hand so he could write her words down now. But he wasn’t moving for anything right now. He’d just have to write it down later. At the risk of becoming annoying and seeming redundant, Ozaki spoke in a soft voice. “But… but what kind of parent would even think of killing their child? I don’t want to even be that… Nothing l-.” The next words were naught but a whisper from his mouth. “Nothing like him.”
Ozaki couldn’t stand the things of his father that he saw in himself. And he couldn’t stand that even after all this time his heart still yearned for his family back. Even as shitty as it had been.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It didn't mean the Blood Devil wouldn't keep her eye out and occasionally maybe push back a little bit against the younger boys father if he got too close to becoming an actual deadly threat, but she was willing to stay out for the moment. "If you had a mortal species for a daughter, it may be as fucked as you think, but in this particular case call it your own little pinch of devil so long as you still love her." it was well known they loved to murder each other soon as they were old enough to fight, he had seen the proof with pai being a solider already. "Right now, you have a family again, one that will be incredibly difficult to lose because even if you impaled her through the chest she'd come back." it wasn't normal, but devil's were not like most other species, they were drenched in blood from before birth.
"You can't change everything, but how you react is your choice." she smiled softly, trailing her hand down his face to rest on his slender shoulder. "While he reacts with hatred, you can turn the fear and anger into actions of love. Think about it for a second if you feel this bad over what you've been thinking. How do you think Nyx feels over having thoughts that are perfectly normal for her kind that she's been led to believe are inappropriate. I wouldn't doubt the human convinced her no one could love her as one of us. So she fights herself for you. Why don't you choose to fight for once?"
it was so easy to pick up some sword and swing it around, but her tone expressed this was not the sort of battle she spoke of. Instead the devil spoke of him fixing what the human had done to his daughter in a way only a parent could. "Being a parent isn't about only feeling love all the time, sometimes you will be upset with her, and from my father's account I can guarantee if she's even half the devil any of us are, you'll think about killing her. But, it's alright because your daughter is a devil, she can't change that anymore than you can change your father against his will, but you can chose to love her in spite of it like any parent should."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ozaki leaned closer as she put her hand on his shoulder, wings loosening a little, but not yet unwrapping from himself.
He was afraid of Nyx because of what she was, but if she were ever going to be truly happy she would have to embrace it. Nyx was a blood devil, no amount of training from her past father could change that. She had suppressed her inner instincts, and he of all people should know how painful that was. The person in the park may or may not have been WHO she was, but it was WHAT she was. Ozaki wanted to think that you could be more than what you were, but sometimes that simply wasn’t true.
At the very least… You had to take care of your primal needs first before you could rise above them. And for blood devils, bloodshed and violence might have to be considered that. He… He could maybe work with that. But this so called god of hers was worrisome. When that person spoke of that god it sounded like she would gladly butcher the entire school if he so much as mused on it. All for a person who did not truly love her at all, only what he could do for him.
Ozaki felt ashamed of his inner thoughts, wishing to high heaven he hadn’t. He should know better. He should be better.
The vampire momentarily thought back to how Basani had been so much calmer after he had come back. Did he die bleeding out on the floor? Had that really worked to take the wind out of sails? “Sooo… Does killing a blood devil… Is it basically like a sense slap that gets you guys to snap out of it?” He was trying to understand, but he could not see Nyx as seeing it that way. She did not have the lack of self-preservation instincts that the other devils did.
Not in her current state at least. Her past self would be another thing entirely. Her past self was possibly even more extreme than these blood devils knew what to deal with. “And. You said something about a devil dying for the final time… You can do that? H-“ He cut himself off from asking how. Ozaki didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to know how, because if he felt pressed he might feel the need to do it. But… What if he did it on accident? “H-how do you do it? So I can… Not do it.”
A rock settled in his gut as he thought to Nyx, thinking she was unlovable with her own natural instincts. Was that how she really felt? If he abandoned her… No matter what anyone else did. After all that she lost, when she finally remembered, she would possibly never believe anyone was capable of loving her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I guess you could say it works like that. We do start revival emotionally mellow." But most of the time they stopped at that point by choice instead of some random effect of reviving. "When fairly killed we just consider it kinda over most times." They were warriors not robots, sometimes they liked chances to do other things even if their life was battle. "I doubt she'll be that way until she's died several times though. She hasnt for so long it's going to hurt when it happens." Most times it was not incredibly painful since we were used to it and sometimes more than often learned to derive pleasure from it.
"Trust me you don't need to know it's a very purposeful sort of murder you have to be trying and it doesn't just happen over night it takes an extended period of time to kill us proper." She couldn't tell him that they had to be starved, it just wasn't something they shared with outsiders. The second they shared it with one? It could become common knowledge and end the species. "Plus, I've had enough of watching that pain I won't put the information out there. Even being sealed aware of every moment is better." It was impossible to kill them by mistake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He relaxed a bit when she said that he didn’t need to know. That it would take days of concentrated effort. He’d rather not know. Ozaki didn’t want even the temptation to end Nyx’s life permanently if he thought was was for the best… Dracula’s fangs he hated thinking that way.
So it sounded like them calming down after bieng killed, and their lax attitude towards death was more of a cultural thing than a species thing. Nyx as she was now would possibly be traumatized by being killed. But Fluffy? Fluffy was probably used to it if she were as acclimatized to the field of combat as he suspected. Odds are she had killed and been killed many times. They did not fight in fear of loosing their lives. In some ways that could be a weakness. Who said an enemy had to kill you aft- UGH! Ozaki wanted that thought to shut the hell up.
“That’s alright. I’d rather not know anyways… I’m just glad it can’t happen by accident.” Hopefully. Probably. No, he had to take her word for it. He rubbed at his eyes again, feeling embarrassed that he couldn’t stop crying. Truth be told he’d not told many people that story about his father. None of his current close friends knew that about him. It never got easier to talk about. And this stuff running through his system wasn’t making it any better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was good that he would rather not know the woman was not at all comfortable with the idea of telling him the way to kill one of them. "I can however warn you of this." it was incredibly difficult to entirely eliminate blood so short of someone with a void ability their remains were sealed up so tightly there would be no hope of revival. "Our remains are often kept in sealed vials, jars or other such objects, if enough fresh blood is spilled unto the devil's final blood, sometimes we revive again when we otherwise would remain dead. So watch when adventuring that you don't accidently wake one of our dead." most of the time when they killed one of their own to the extent they could not revive any longer, it was for very good reason.
Allowing her wing to shift slightly around him she looked over at the boy again, smiling softly once more. "So what do you plan to do?" she was genuinely curious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well that was good to know in case of emergencies for Nyx. And also something worth noting for the dead. He could imagine that a lot of their dead were probably those extremists and were better off not in the world. But… If Nyx were one of those too… What could he do? “I don’t know…” He did have some ideas, but he didn’t know if they were good ones. “I w-was thinking for Nyx maybe slowly introducing her to more confrontational things until she could be more comfortable with direct combat. Like games first… You know she’s never even so much been allowed to play checkers?”
He looked up to the woman, wings finally unwrapping fully from his shoulders.
Until now he had thought the direct combat was option for Nyx, but it was important. It was part of what she needed. It wasn’t enough to feed, and have someone she loved to feed from. Battle was part of what she was, and who she was needed to be okay with that. “And for Fluffy… Or Minx as she liked to be called-“ Ozaki watched for a reaction at the name. “Those are the names she asked to be called when her memories temporarily came back… I don’t know what to do with her. Eventually Nyx will probably remember all her memories and that’ll be who she is…. And I don’t know what I’ll do then. Even you guys are at a loss for what to do with… I mean… The extremists. If she's one of those then... I don't know."
And then what will have any of his work meant for Nyx? Would it mean anything at all other to him? Would it mean anything to her? Would she remember or care for him at all?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's a good place to start." games were often used in the conditioning of their young so redoing the girls with such stunts may just end up workable to some extent in a sense. "Though, Nyx may not actually be uncomfortable in combat it's more likely she was just taught from a memory wiped state that the feeling of enjoyment is bad to the extent she actually feels bad over feeling it." from what he had been describing it was highly possible the child was already a harden warrior beneath the terrible conditioning inflicted upon her mental state. "It may be simple as making it alright for her to be honest with her own feelings." the girl had not shrunken away from Pai or tried dirty tricks against him so Alley guessed the truth of her had some sense of honor.
Smiling softly she let her wings return to her back leaning against the smaller body slightly with a giggle. "Than you should help her find them if you really want to be her parent and love her in spite of who really ends up being beneath her amnesia." Of course, sadly she had no idea of who she was telling him to help bring back, not that her own kind would mind it much since the beast was not just a roaring monster. "You don't have to know, who she is, that's not something for you to decide for her." laying back against the surface behind her she looked up at the ceiling smile not breaking. "All you can decide is if you're going to love her unconditionally enough to help her find who she is even if it breaks your heart. Sure, most parents would hope their children don't turn into killers, but for us being some form of killer is expected and if she truly knows you love her, even regaining her memories won't erase it." sure the girl may change, but the fact he loved her wouldn't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The vampire was glad to hear that she didn’t think his game idea might actually work. Though when she spoke of Nyx’s fighting style from before he nodded in agreement. Her fighting went beyond simple instincts, her muscles remembered even if her body did not. The memories were not destroyed. They were in there somewhere, and one way or another they would come out.
“I know how that’s like.” He muttered to himself at the part where Alisa had mentioned feeling bad over feeling good about something. Ozaki had felt a kinship with Nyx right from the get go. And the more he was getting to know about who, and what, she was, the more he saw why that was the case. And the more he felt terrible for not seeing the signs. They were a lot alike in someways.
He was a little disappointed when the wing-hug stopped, but was still grateful that she hadn’t yet withdrawn. Ozaki had missed simple contact like this. It felt warm and safe.
Ozaki was uncertain of the last thing she said. She hadn’t been acting like she had remembered him today. The fact it was only temporary though, was strange. Usually when memories came back, they stayed back. They didn’t just fade back away. Maybe it was the effect of a spell starting to wear off. Or self-forced repression being reasserted. She had lost quite a bit in her life, according to Alisa’s theories. This theory of memory wiping was something to look into perhaps though.
He supposed it also made sense that Alisa hadn’t recognized any of the names he had mentioned. If she had, Nyx would probably already be in their care with how tenacious blood devils could be once they set their mind towards something… Mmm….
Now there was a thought. He was still afraid that he might not be able to love who she became. But as much as a parent could not fully control what their child became, and it was their duty to love them unconditionally... It was also their responsibility to guide them. The way Ozaki was seeing it right now, the problem wasn’t Fluffy so much as her mindless worship of her god. However she could be reasoned with.
Perhaps not outside her current mindset of beliefs. But he could work with Nyx… Ugh he felt sleazy even thinking about it. But she needed something better than a god that was the epitome of blood shed and rage. A cause, a person. It’d be something to think about.
But he wouldn’t get an answer in mere seconds. This would take time to consider. “I hope I can… She was just like… An entirely different person. But… I’ll try.” He wouldn’t abandon her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's understandable if she's completely different especially if she's a descendant of the devil's I think she may be." Alisa wouldn't tell him but she had once been part of those groups when she was very, very young before joining up with her current rage beast and loosing contact when the rift between joining society or remaining 'savage monsters' began. "I knew many devil's from those groups, they were a breed apart from the rest of us, not necessarily evil, they simply chose to be pure predators, you can't call a wolf evil for killing a deer. Only those ones are always hungry." it wasn't as if those devil's had malicious thoughts having lived until around four that way, Alisa knew they didn't even think badly! Instead those devil's were actually as they seemed, predators who would hunt until satisfied, they didn't set out to cause pain or commit crimes, nor to sickly enjoy combat, they just hunted because it was what they were. "But, as I said there has to be more within even that side of Nyx as it's impossible for her to be a direct member of those groups, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to be conditioned even memory wiped."
Sighing slightly she looked off to the side taking a breathe quickly to soothe herself as she began thinking. "It may be easier if we can figure out who left her alive. If the rest of her family is dead than someone knew what they were doing and I doubt she wasn't involved in the fight with what you've described, so someone chose to keep her alive for some reason. Everything may become safer if you can learn about that." if she was that much of a warrior? No way had even a child hid as their entire flock and extended flock was slaughtered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A devil would rather die in honor and without dirty tricks by a friend than by a stranger’s hands. He mused. That might be the case for Fluffy, but he wasn’t sure Nyx would have the same feeling. But if it were Nyx it would be better to talk to her, to figure out something, than to kill her.
If she got to the level of blood lust that Fluffy had when she had appeared… It may be very possible that he’d have to summon another bat to quench the yearning for death. As much as he hated the idea, it was important to come up with plans that did not involve her killing other people or him having to kill her. There had to be a better way to handle these things.
At the wolf metaphor he did his best to hide his grimace. Basani had used that one, and in seeing Fluffy Ozaki realized how true that was. Perhaps next time he would act sooner in darting her, and then while she was out take her to the forest or something. A place where it wouldn’t matter if she went a little ballistic. Maybe that’d work.
As he mused as to who may have left her a sole survivor and wiped her mind one of his thoughts drifted to her father. “She did have a human father. I’ve wondered for awhile if his neglect of her was a product of ignorance or maliciousness.” Or maybe he’d found her in that blank state and had wanted to do everything in his power to keep her in that adorable, vulnerable state. The last one he did not dare verbalize, because Ozaki could in part see himself doing that.
But he wouldn’t. Knowing how much pain she was in he couldn’t do that to her. She might be happier without her memories, but she wasn’t happy right now. Well she was but… She was in pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A human typically would not adopt something dangerous as a Blood Devil unless they were confident of something in someway, hearing this it was not hard for her to believe this human may have lots to do with her memory loss. "I doubt a human took down even a small flock and a rage beast, especially since you have to keep us pinned down in a sense to be able to end us properly." someone else had to be doing the killing, but she also doubted the mortal mans intentions with Nyx had been anything near pure especially with an incident she had heard of through the grape vine. "I am concerned though, there is a human man, a mercenary hiring other unfavorable sorts to abduct devil's and bring them to a warehouse for torture. We manage to rescue them, but each time the information they were questioned on is the same, how to kill one of us. It's only a matter of time before this hunter learns the method possibly even by accident due to the sorts of torture inflicted on some of the devil's. Pai was one of them, they came far too close to finding out with him, if we had gotten there a day or two later, they would have known." what if the man searching for how to kill one of them was the same human who had raised Nyx, someone she trusted and would possibly even go with in her current state.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Askel, Nyx’s father... he’s a mercenary too...” If these two were one and the same person... That would spell bad news for everyone. He was going to have to find a way to warn Nyx about her father of his suspicions were true. This... this would not be easy. His stomach was twisted in knots at the idea of Nyx winding up in the clutches of such a man. He didn’t want to believe such a person could exist, one that would kill the child they had adopted but he dealt far too much with his own father to let his hopes get the best of him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alisa jolted slightly at hearing the mans name, turning her head to look at Yuuki with a grimace. "You're absolutely sure Askel is her father?" that just didn't sound right, given the mans work she had encountered him directly several times before. "I didn't even know the man had a daughter, and he quickly earned a reputation for being more brutal than even us, he makes trophies out of the corpses of those he's defeated if the contract doesn't require he turn the whole thing in." she recalled looking at Askel donned in his hunting gear, realizing finally why his weapons were soo affective she shot up and punched the nearest wall, clearly seething.
"It makes sense now, how he was able to fight next to us back than, his weapons were made from things she shed overtime." the disgusting man had taken parts of the devil's body, relied on the fact things like her horns grew back quickly to use the razor sharp weapons to make his own stronger. "Were the hell was he keeping her when he went off for weeks at a time to hunt!" could it truly be possible Askel just left the young blood devil alone in his apartment every single time? She didn't even want to think about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ozaki was aghast when she punched a hole in his wall. As important as this was... his land lord was going to be pissed. “There goes the deposit.” He grumbled, being sure the jab would be loud enough to hear. You didn’t come into someone’s house and punch holes in the walls!
In hearing the next part he was a little more understanding, but still riled up that his wall was damaged. “Perhaps he had an accomplice or nanny of sorts that kept an eye on her while he was out...” Weapons made out of parts of her that had shed off... At least he had waited until they shed.... Hopefully. “I’m definitely sure his name was Askel.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alisa rolled her eyes slightly, it was expected she on occasion still became violent. "Don't worry, I'll arrange for someone to fix it." she looked at her hand, bloodied from the action, something of fondness expressed as a finger traced though the blood. "It makes sense how he can torment his captives so well, if he spent years watching her, bastard probably knew every ounce of pain she went through." and now he was using it to find out how to kill devil's, nothing good could come from that. Even if they were a violent? Still they held an important function within the world. "I hope so, I mean how can someone leave a child alone, especially one designed to live in a flock. Even as adults we rarely exist alone." they liked fighting and murder, not being alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ozaki sympathized with that more than he liked to admit. Vampires too were designed to be in flocks. According to the research he’d done his own particular breed of vampires considered those they sired as their children. While he did not approve or like what his sire had done… If he had taken him with him afterwards… Maybe things wouldn’t have been so bad.
Even now Ozaki didn’t really have a proper flock. He was not exactly a normal vampire, and once others figured that out they tended to be a bit scornful of his anomalies. He did have his bats, and it was better than nothing. But bats were not particularly the best things to go for if you wanted a proper conversation.
But Nyx had had no one with her back then. Askel had left her alone to starve. So much so that she had gotten used to it, forgotten the level of pain she was in. He felt anger start to pulse its way up through his doubt towards his capabilities as a parent. It had not merely been incompetence then, it had been willful neglect.
“Tell me everything you know about him.” He said in a low voice. They had worked together in the past apparently. Surely they had to know some useful information. An ugly thought curled up in the back of his mind as he took out his journal so he could write down anything Alisa said past this point. Humans could be so cruel.
The male blood devil had been right. The phone rang a couple of times before someone picked up. “Hey… Ozaki here. Turns out Bani was right. About everything.” He said in a weary voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The female was laying out spread on the couch, turned to face her daughter as she helped the young girl with the beginnings to conditioning by basically setting out several blocks and only letting her destroy ones of the correct color. "Well, he was always going to be right to a degree Ozaki, come on I'm watching my little girl destroy blocks instead of stack them. But what happened? No Zena! Red Not Blue, say bye to the blocks you're on time out! It seems like a sudden turn around to say he was right about everything." while she had not initially known why they had fought her husband had caught her up on the entire thing several days later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
Ozaki wrapped himself in his wings and lay down on his bed, keeping the phone to his ear. “She… She went a little… I don’t know. But it… By Dracula I’m such an idiot for thinking I knew better than a blood devil about Nyx. He was right. He was right and there’s no way I can do this.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Picking up the blocks with her blood manipulation the red head moved them out of her daughters range for the moment, out of sight leaving the girl to pout in front of her and enter a rage of blood manipulating. "What? How do you not know if you were there." she had a slight smirk in her voice alongside confusion. "It's not uncommon dude, lots of other species thought they knew better than us on ourselves for centuries, proclaimed the truth was our excuse for bloodshed." from the screaming of a baby in the background it was clear they didn't just make excuses for their violence it was natural for them. "But, Nyx is different to some extent otherwise she wouldn't be able to live even a day as a pacifist through the pain." than she caught up to the part it sounded like he was planning on abandoning the girl he was playing father to. "So you're just going to abandon her? Geeze dude, she's been raised to be averse to everything that makes us the most happy. What is she going to do if she loses her family too? For what sounds like it could be the third time in her life." she scoffed it, needing more to go on before she could help but not liking the idea of the man abandoning the young devil.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It was complicated. It was her, but it wasn’t her. But a different version of her maybe? But it was still her body and it made me realize your husband was right about blood devils. She kept going on about some god of hers, that she would bleed everyone and offer their skulls to her God Chaoris or something like that.” Might as well explain what had happened. It might end up offering some insight. Maybe he was a god of the blood devils or something.
Was Nyx always in pain? He wondered. Apparently she had always been starving, she just hadn’t known it because she was so used to it. And she’d rarely ever complained. Always so sweet, polite. And in that much hunger and pain all along. He felt terrible at the very idea of her hurting so much. He bit his lip, trying to keep himself together for the phone call despite how much he felt like crying. Despite his best efforts his sorrow crept into his voice as he spoke. “I don’t want to abandon her. I… I…”
What did he want? “I want what’s best for her. And I don’t think that’s me. Its you guys. Your island, with her own kind.”
He was terrified for the Academy he had made home, afraid she might kill a lot of people, and that he might end up having to hurt her to make her stop. He couldn’t do that. She wasn’t fit to be in this society, not as she would become. The blood devils might be able to help her. But him? No. Ozaki wasn’t good enough, he didn’t know shit about raising a blood devil and it had been arrogant for him to assume he had it handled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You can't do that to her." the woman's voice broke slightly, easily recalling the way she called after her own general before they had joined the army, her goddess. "Listen dude, I knew for her parents to have abandoned her they had to be dead, it's so hard for us to have children we never let go of them until they're grown, but I didn't phantom it was this bad." she was nearly crying at the idea of what had to have happened to the girl in her mind. "Often times we call the Rage Beast we serve under or live and travel with our god. It's always a group of seven. If she was calling after a god it means that somehow all six other devils and their beast were killed and didn't revive causing her being left alone to fall into a humans hands. That's at the least, it's likely several groups were eradicated to leave her that lost. We're obsessive over our young even if we're not the parents, if no one knew she was missing every devil and beast involved with her from birth until orphanage is dead or they'd be tearing up the country looking for her. Please tell me she doesn't remember again anymore, you took it from her, please say you erased it. I can't imagine living with that. No wonder a human could condition her like that, she was already broken when he got her." since she started speaking her own daughter had crawled into her lap and she hugged the tiny devil tightly, smoothing down her hair thinking of all the way's she'd hurt someone who ever tried to cause the same thing for her devil's. "What's best is not loosing her family again, I'm surprised she can still love, if those were memories... I can't. Even if she wiped it from her mind there's no doubt she still feels it." in her mind this perfectly explained why a human had been able to condition a pacifist devil, nails digging into her own hands until they bled.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How old was Nyx anyways? This sounded like she had had quite the eventful life even before ending up in her human father’s care. He was using the loosest definition of the term there. “I didn’t do any of that… But I think she may remember at some point. There’s these moments where she seems to change. Like what happened today. Its like she’s a different person. And I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle that person. Your husband was right. She is a wolf. I’m not good enough to handle a wolf. Its impossible. I hate how right it was. I do want her to stay a cute puppy forever. But that’s not what she is. One day she’ll grow up, and what she’ll become…”
Ozaki started to overflow with tears at this point as a panic attack started to seize him. “I can’t… I… I’m no good. A father’s supposed to love their child no matter what. But I’m afraid. I’m afraid of the people she might hurt, afraid I might not be able to do anything about it. I won’t be enough, I can’t be enough. Its impossible. I was an idiot for thinking I could be a father, I’ll just end up doing something terrible to her and she’ll be worse off for it.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eventually she calmed enough to let her daughter back onto the ground softly, thinking hard about the situation. "If it's just moments, chances are something is riling her memories." which also explained the weirdness of her prior paternal figure seeming to allow her no conflict of any sort. As her brain thought deeply? It made even more sense as she realized the talk of skulls, something most blood devils didn't typically care for beyond manipulating them. "If you are right about the skull part, chances are Ba was more right than even he thought about her." the mention of skulls bothered her so heavily, to be focused on that meant Nyx may have belonged to a group that was fringe even for devils.
"If my guess is right she's not just a wolf but something along the lines of their ancestors capable of hunting them down without trouble." but, that wouldn't make sense it would make the girl far older than she was. "Chances are she's descended from survivors of the groups we mostly managed to eliminated, it had to be done due to failure to assimilate into society, Nyx is far too young to have been directly from those groups though so it's likely she didn't inherit the full force of their savagery." if they hadn't put a dent into those groups forcing them to breed with less savage groups than it would have been trouble for living in modern society and far as she knew most survivors now saw that, even if they were still more brutal than the rest.
Taking a breathe she gave her daughter the blocks back, thinking further. "Even the most savage wolf protects its own pack. I can't tell you she won't hurt anyone, heck I can't promise you won't have to kill her sometimes if her memories were to return. However, I can assure you that even an end result of you killing her is something she'd favor over being abandoned if she regained her memories." she sighed with regret as she looked out the window remembering once more back to those bloody fights. "When I helped fight them, I remember so clearly one of them I took down laying there talking to me as he died for the last time, he was so happy it had been me instead of a stranger, said he knew that I hadn't used any dirty tricks and he didn't mind dying honorably." what she said implied they could actually die, for good, in spite of their regeneration ability, which was almost the truth.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What had happened in this case? What had triggered it? Ozaki wish he’d been there so he could understand. Maybe he’d ask her later… But could he even look her in the eyes after what he’d thought about her? And the woman’s words about maybe having to kill her rang in his ears. That was just what he had been thinking. “But I can’t kill her… I could never forgive myself. I can’t even forgive myself for even having those thoughts. The way I was thinking today… When I saw that version of her… It must be what <i>he</i> thinks when he sees me…”
Ozaki paused for a moment, then realized that he had just said that part aloud. “Forget I said that last bit.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finally upon his next words she sighed realizing that this may have been less about Nyx and more about the male himself, carefully picking up her infant. "Do me a favor dude, just cut your finger and smear it on the floor." the request was odd, but she knew what she was doing here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
That was an odd request to make, but the vampire didn’t see any harm in it. At least not any harm he cared about at this very instant. Ozaki nipped his index finger with a fang and rolled over, struggling for a moment to get his arm out of his wings which were tightly wrapped around him so he could smear a bit on the ground. He rubbed at his eyes to stem the flow of tears, but was unsuccessful in truly stopping them. Damn… Oh well. At least no one could see him in this pathetic state. Once that was done he pulled his arm back in and burrowed himself further in his wings, so nothing but the top of his head was visible and his voice had a faint echoing quality on the phone. “I did it.” He said in a subdued voice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was odd, but there was one thing she hadn't informed him of when he did his research before, he had seen her husband teleport through blood, yet failed to learn the limits of it. Several long moments of dead silence and mumbling as she handed the infant off to its father would fill the sounds before the phone went dead.
Suddenly she was in his room, red hair falling around her as she stumbled slightly and collapsed against the floor unconscious for a brief moment. "Alright that's farther than I've went in a long time like that." shaking her head and standing up she walked over to where he was curled up in his wings. "Mind if I sit next to you?" Alisa wanted to know where she'd be setting herself down until she was done with this after-all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ozaki waited for as long was needed, not really in the mood to rush her to do anything. Alisa was probably doing something or another with the kid. At least that’s what it sounded like. Why she had to do that in the middle of the call he didn’t know but…
Oh damn there was someone in his room. It was very lucky for Ozaki that she fell unconscious for a little bit upon arrival, as he had wiped out his dagger quicker than he even had time to think. No one should be able to just come in- oh. Her. They could teleport this far? That was impressive. And a bit scary that they could just do it like that.
The vampire quickly put his dagger away on his belt before she came to, and stood crouching with his wings partially unfurled. Upon realizing her intentions weren’t hostile, Ozaki sat back down, wings wrapping around himself again. It was a gesture very reminiscent of someone hugging themselves as tightly as they could. “Why are you here?” He asked through gritted teeth, doing his best not to bare his fangs at her. He had seen what blood devils were capable of, her husband had taken every effort to ensure he did. The vampire couldn’t afford to set her off.
Yet even for that Ozaki was not able to let his guard down and embarrassed as all hell she had suddenly appeared while he was weeping like some stupid kid. He rubbed at his eyes with his wing, trying to stop crying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sighing when she realized he was every bit as stubborn as the male devils she was adjusted to dealing with Alisa chose that she was just going to take her own liberties. The red head sat down right next to him one wing unfurling to refurl around him as she sighed softly. "Oh come on I live with dozens of men who don't think half their emotions matter every day or that they can just will away bullshit, you think I wouldn't realize there's more here than just Nyx at play? Don't go yanking my chain." she would laugh softly moving forward with the attempt to poke his forehead as if he should have realized this. "Whatever it is, you haven't talked about it properly yet, I can tell that and its affecting you deeply. From what you said before I assume someone in your family didn't take well when you were turned and maybe even disliked things like yourself before you turned?" Alisa was far from stupid, and out of concern for the child she wanted this bullshit dealt with promptly.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When he felt the wing furl around him he had the impulse to push her away. How dare she presume to get that close to him? To just… He didn’t need comforting from some stranger. The hell did she think she was doing hugging some random guy? And the frettting side of him worried of her husband found out if he might get mad. This species could teleport through blood. And he dealt with far too much blood to be safe.
But… Part of him knew that that fretting was ridiculous. And more than anything he just wanted to be held by something other than his own wings. He wanted a hug more than anything. And now he was getting one, not all the pride in the world could get him to push away. There was a hunger inside him even more powerful than his thirst for blood, and that was for connection. This warm soft embrace of a parent, understanding. No matter how old he got he could not shake that yearning.
He ended up sobbing even harder. Ozaki didn’t know what to say. He was afraid that if she told him the truth, she wouldn’t really understand. She’d just scoff at him for it. But she’d already figured out half of it on her own as it was. And she wasn’t judging him poorly. “He…” Ozaki was uncertain of saying this out loud. A blood devil like she was bound to go off the handle. But worn down as he felt, it was hard to stop himself.
“He… He. M-my father. He won’t g-. He wants to- I mean. I don’t blame him. I mean I did kill.. B-b-b-but. But its h-hard.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The female traced patterns on the wing not wrapped around him, by now she was used to being a source of comfort especially since her band of devil's contained many who had been in some way related to the elimination targets back than. "I think I understand." she frowned slightly, placing her hand on top of his head with another sigh. "Of course its hard." her frown turned back into a partial smile as the devil thought about how to speak to a species that put more value on life than her own did. "While I'd like to take up sword over it and beat some sense into him. It's more important for you to realize that regardless of your actions, you're not responsible for his. Things happen in life, unpredictable things, we can't control how someone else will react to them." he couldn't change his father just by wishing hard, and if he focused so hard on the motives of the other man it would corrupt him.
"If you think that you know how he feels, think of how you feel and than wonder for a second how Nyx may feel, the child is intelligent, she's already aware. I can't imagine fighting myself the way she fights herself, she's away from the person who conditioned her why do you think she still does it?" likely the same hope that kept Ozaki from blaming his father for whatever had transpired since he'd been turned into a vampire in spite of the fact it was entirely the older mans fault. "Sure he raised you and often times you may think like him thanks to it, but that doesn't have to define you. Decide to control it instead of letting it control you, just because you're afraid of her doesn't mean you can't love her, nor does it mean you can't confront her if you ever need to. Even in those moments you can love instead of hate." she couldn't promise it would do anything to change things, but it would make a difference inside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well. She was no Dawn to say the least. He was glad she wasn’t just going to fly off the handle and try and hunt him down like the majin would. No matter what Ozaki didn’t want his father’s death. Even if maybe he should at this point.
His mind mulled over her words multiple times. Even now he knew that he’d be thinking more on them later. The vampire wished he had his journal in hand so he could write her words down now. But he wasn’t moving for anything right now. He’d just have to write it down later. At the risk of becoming annoying and seeming redundant, Ozaki spoke in a soft voice. “But… but what kind of parent would even think of killing their child? I don’t want to even be that… Nothing l-.” The next words were naught but a whisper from his mouth. “Nothing like him.”
Ozaki couldn’t stand the things of his father that he saw in himself. And he couldn’t stand that even after all this time his heart still yearned for his family back. Even as shitty as it had been.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It didn't mean the Blood Devil wouldn't keep her eye out and occasionally maybe push back a little bit against the younger boys father if he got too close to becoming an actual deadly threat, but she was willing to stay out for the moment. "If you had a mortal species for a daughter, it may be as fucked as you think, but in this particular case call it your own little pinch of devil so long as you still love her." it was well known they loved to murder each other soon as they were old enough to fight, he had seen the proof with pai being a solider already. "Right now, you have a family again, one that will be incredibly difficult to lose because even if you impaled her through the chest she'd come back." it wasn't normal, but devil's were not like most other species, they were drenched in blood from before birth.
"You can't change everything, but how you react is your choice." she smiled softly, trailing her hand down his face to rest on his slender shoulder. "While he reacts with hatred, you can turn the fear and anger into actions of love. Think about it for a second if you feel this bad over what you've been thinking. How do you think Nyx feels over having thoughts that are perfectly normal for her kind that she's been led to believe are inappropriate. I wouldn't doubt the human convinced her no one could love her as one of us. So she fights herself for you. Why don't you choose to fight for once?"
it was so easy to pick up some sword and swing it around, but her tone expressed this was not the sort of battle she spoke of. Instead the devil spoke of him fixing what the human had done to his daughter in a way only a parent could. "Being a parent isn't about only feeling love all the time, sometimes you will be upset with her, and from my father's account I can guarantee if she's even half the devil any of us are, you'll think about killing her. But, it's alright because your daughter is a devil, she can't change that anymore than you can change your father against his will, but you can chose to love her in spite of it like any parent should."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ozaki leaned closer as she put her hand on his shoulder, wings loosening a little, but not yet unwrapping from himself.
He was afraid of Nyx because of what she was, but if she were ever going to be truly happy she would have to embrace it. Nyx was a blood devil, no amount of training from her past father could change that. She had suppressed her inner instincts, and he of all people should know how painful that was. The person in the park may or may not have been WHO she was, but it was WHAT she was. Ozaki wanted to think that you could be more than what you were, but sometimes that simply wasn’t true.
At the very least… You had to take care of your primal needs first before you could rise above them. And for blood devils, bloodshed and violence might have to be considered that. He… He could maybe work with that. But this so called god of hers was worrisome. When that person spoke of that god it sounded like she would gladly butcher the entire school if he so much as mused on it. All for a person who did not truly love her at all, only what he could do for him.
Ozaki felt ashamed of his inner thoughts, wishing to high heaven he hadn’t. He should know better. He should be better.
The vampire momentarily thought back to how Basani had been so much calmer after he had come back. Did he die bleeding out on the floor? Had that really worked to take the wind out of sails? “Sooo… Does killing a blood devil… Is it basically like a sense slap that gets you guys to snap out of it?” He was trying to understand, but he could not see Nyx as seeing it that way. She did not have the lack of self-preservation instincts that the other devils did.
Not in her current state at least. Her past self would be another thing entirely. Her past self was possibly even more extreme than these blood devils knew what to deal with. “And. You said something about a devil dying for the final time… You can do that? H-“ He cut himself off from asking how. Ozaki didn’t want to know. He didn’t want to know how, because if he felt pressed he might feel the need to do it. But… What if he did it on accident? “H-how do you do it? So I can… Not do it.”
A rock settled in his gut as he thought to Nyx, thinking she was unlovable with her own natural instincts. Was that how she really felt? If he abandoned her… No matter what anyone else did. After all that she lost, when she finally remembered, she would possibly never believe anyone was capable of loving her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I guess you could say it works like that. We do start revival emotionally mellow." But most of the time they stopped at that point by choice instead of some random effect of reviving. "When fairly killed we just consider it kinda over most times." They were warriors not robots, sometimes they liked chances to do other things even if their life was battle. "I doubt she'll be that way until she's died several times though. She hasnt for so long it's going to hurt when it happens." Most times it was not incredibly painful since we were used to it and sometimes more than often learned to derive pleasure from it.
"Trust me you don't need to know it's a very purposeful sort of murder you have to be trying and it doesn't just happen over night it takes an extended period of time to kill us proper." She couldn't tell him that they had to be starved, it just wasn't something they shared with outsiders. The second they shared it with one? It could become common knowledge and end the species. "Plus, I've had enough of watching that pain I won't put the information out there. Even being sealed aware of every moment is better." It was impossible to kill them by mistake.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He relaxed a bit when she said that he didn’t need to know. That it would take days of concentrated effort. He’d rather not know. Ozaki didn’t want even the temptation to end Nyx’s life permanently if he thought was was for the best… Dracula’s fangs he hated thinking that way.
So it sounded like them calming down after bieng killed, and their lax attitude towards death was more of a cultural thing than a species thing. Nyx as she was now would possibly be traumatized by being killed. But Fluffy? Fluffy was probably used to it if she were as acclimatized to the field of combat as he suspected. Odds are she had killed and been killed many times. They did not fight in fear of loosing their lives. In some ways that could be a weakness. Who said an enemy had to kill you aft- UGH! Ozaki wanted that thought to shut the hell up.
“That’s alright. I’d rather not know anyways… I’m just glad it can’t happen by accident.” Hopefully. Probably. No, he had to take her word for it. He rubbed at his eyes again, feeling embarrassed that he couldn’t stop crying. Truth be told he’d not told many people that story about his father. None of his current close friends knew that about him. It never got easier to talk about. And this stuff running through his system wasn’t making it any better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was good that he would rather not know the woman was not at all comfortable with the idea of telling him the way to kill one of them. "I can however warn you of this." it was incredibly difficult to entirely eliminate blood so short of someone with a void ability their remains were sealed up so tightly there would be no hope of revival. "Our remains are often kept in sealed vials, jars or other such objects, if enough fresh blood is spilled unto the devil's final blood, sometimes we revive again when we otherwise would remain dead. So watch when adventuring that you don't accidently wake one of our dead." most of the time when they killed one of their own to the extent they could not revive any longer, it was for very good reason.
Allowing her wing to shift slightly around him she looked over at the boy again, smiling softly once more. "So what do you plan to do?" she was genuinely curious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well that was good to know in case of emergencies for Nyx. And also something worth noting for the dead. He could imagine that a lot of their dead were probably those extremists and were better off not in the world. But… If Nyx were one of those too… What could he do? “I don’t know…” He did have some ideas, but he didn’t know if they were good ones. “I w-was thinking for Nyx maybe slowly introducing her to more confrontational things until she could be more comfortable with direct combat. Like games first… You know she’s never even so much been allowed to play checkers?”
He looked up to the woman, wings finally unwrapping fully from his shoulders.
Until now he had thought the direct combat was option for Nyx, but it was important. It was part of what she needed. It wasn’t enough to feed, and have someone she loved to feed from. Battle was part of what she was, and who she was needed to be okay with that. “And for Fluffy… Or Minx as she liked to be called-“ Ozaki watched for a reaction at the name. “Those are the names she asked to be called when her memories temporarily came back… I don’t know what to do with her. Eventually Nyx will probably remember all her memories and that’ll be who she is…. And I don’t know what I’ll do then. Even you guys are at a loss for what to do with… I mean… The extremists. If she's one of those then... I don't know."
And then what will have any of his work meant for Nyx? Would it mean anything at all other to him? Would it mean anything to her? Would she remember or care for him at all?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's a good place to start." games were often used in the conditioning of their young so redoing the girls with such stunts may just end up workable to some extent in a sense. "Though, Nyx may not actually be uncomfortable in combat it's more likely she was just taught from a memory wiped state that the feeling of enjoyment is bad to the extent she actually feels bad over feeling it." from what he had been describing it was highly possible the child was already a harden warrior beneath the terrible conditioning inflicted upon her mental state. "It may be simple as making it alright for her to be honest with her own feelings." the girl had not shrunken away from Pai or tried dirty tricks against him so Alley guessed the truth of her had some sense of honor.
Smiling softly she let her wings return to her back leaning against the smaller body slightly with a giggle. "Than you should help her find them if you really want to be her parent and love her in spite of who really ends up being beneath her amnesia." Of course, sadly she had no idea of who she was telling him to help bring back, not that her own kind would mind it much since the beast was not just a roaring monster. "You don't have to know, who she is, that's not something for you to decide for her." laying back against the surface behind her she looked up at the ceiling smile not breaking. "All you can decide is if you're going to love her unconditionally enough to help her find who she is even if it breaks your heart. Sure, most parents would hope their children don't turn into killers, but for us being some form of killer is expected and if she truly knows you love her, even regaining her memories won't erase it." sure the girl may change, but the fact he loved her wouldn't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The vampire was glad to hear that she didn’t think his game idea might actually work. Though when she spoke of Nyx’s fighting style from before he nodded in agreement. Her fighting went beyond simple instincts, her muscles remembered even if her body did not. The memories were not destroyed. They were in there somewhere, and one way or another they would come out.
“I know how that’s like.” He muttered to himself at the part where Alisa had mentioned feeling bad over feeling good about something. Ozaki had felt a kinship with Nyx right from the get go. And the more he was getting to know about who, and what, she was, the more he saw why that was the case. And the more he felt terrible for not seeing the signs. They were a lot alike in someways.
He was a little disappointed when the wing-hug stopped, but was still grateful that she hadn’t yet withdrawn. Ozaki had missed simple contact like this. It felt warm and safe.
Ozaki was uncertain of the last thing she said. She hadn’t been acting like she had remembered him today. The fact it was only temporary though, was strange. Usually when memories came back, they stayed back. They didn’t just fade back away. Maybe it was the effect of a spell starting to wear off. Or self-forced repression being reasserted. She had lost quite a bit in her life, according to Alisa’s theories. This theory of memory wiping was something to look into perhaps though.
He supposed it also made sense that Alisa hadn’t recognized any of the names he had mentioned. If she had, Nyx would probably already be in their care with how tenacious blood devils could be once they set their mind towards something… Mmm….
Now there was a thought. He was still afraid that he might not be able to love who she became. But as much as a parent could not fully control what their child became, and it was their duty to love them unconditionally... It was also their responsibility to guide them. The way Ozaki was seeing it right now, the problem wasn’t Fluffy so much as her mindless worship of her god. However she could be reasoned with.
Perhaps not outside her current mindset of beliefs. But he could work with Nyx… Ugh he felt sleazy even thinking about it. But she needed something better than a god that was the epitome of blood shed and rage. A cause, a person. It’d be something to think about.
But he wouldn’t get an answer in mere seconds. This would take time to consider. “I hope I can… She was just like… An entirely different person. But… I’ll try.” He wouldn’t abandon her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's understandable if she's completely different especially if she's a descendant of the devil's I think she may be." Alisa wouldn't tell him but she had once been part of those groups when she was very, very young before joining up with her current rage beast and loosing contact when the rift between joining society or remaining 'savage monsters' began. "I knew many devil's from those groups, they were a breed apart from the rest of us, not necessarily evil, they simply chose to be pure predators, you can't call a wolf evil for killing a deer. Only those ones are always hungry." it wasn't as if those devil's had malicious thoughts having lived until around four that way, Alisa knew they didn't even think badly! Instead those devil's were actually as they seemed, predators who would hunt until satisfied, they didn't set out to cause pain or commit crimes, nor to sickly enjoy combat, they just hunted because it was what they were. "But, as I said there has to be more within even that side of Nyx as it's impossible for her to be a direct member of those groups, otherwise she wouldn't have been able to be conditioned even memory wiped."
Sighing slightly she looked off to the side taking a breathe quickly to soothe herself as she began thinking. "It may be easier if we can figure out who left her alive. If the rest of her family is dead than someone knew what they were doing and I doubt she wasn't involved in the fight with what you've described, so someone chose to keep her alive for some reason. Everything may become safer if you can learn about that." if she was that much of a warrior? No way had even a child hid as their entire flock and extended flock was slaughtered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A devil would rather die in honor and without dirty tricks by a friend than by a stranger’s hands. He mused. That might be the case for Fluffy, but he wasn’t sure Nyx would have the same feeling. But if it were Nyx it would be better to talk to her, to figure out something, than to kill her.
If she got to the level of blood lust that Fluffy had when she had appeared… It may be very possible that he’d have to summon another bat to quench the yearning for death. As much as he hated the idea, it was important to come up with plans that did not involve her killing other people or him having to kill her. There had to be a better way to handle these things.
At the wolf metaphor he did his best to hide his grimace. Basani had used that one, and in seeing Fluffy Ozaki realized how true that was. Perhaps next time he would act sooner in darting her, and then while she was out take her to the forest or something. A place where it wouldn’t matter if she went a little ballistic. Maybe that’d work.
As he mused as to who may have left her a sole survivor and wiped her mind one of his thoughts drifted to her father. “She did have a human father. I’ve wondered for awhile if his neglect of her was a product of ignorance or maliciousness.” Or maybe he’d found her in that blank state and had wanted to do everything in his power to keep her in that adorable, vulnerable state. The last one he did not dare verbalize, because Ozaki could in part see himself doing that.
But he wouldn’t. Knowing how much pain she was in he couldn’t do that to her. She might be happier without her memories, but she wasn’t happy right now. Well she was but… She was in pain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A human typically would not adopt something dangerous as a Blood Devil unless they were confident of something in someway, hearing this it was not hard for her to believe this human may have lots to do with her memory loss. "I doubt a human took down even a small flock and a rage beast, especially since you have to keep us pinned down in a sense to be able to end us properly." someone else had to be doing the killing, but she also doubted the mortal mans intentions with Nyx had been anything near pure especially with an incident she had heard of through the grape vine. "I am concerned though, there is a human man, a mercenary hiring other unfavorable sorts to abduct devil's and bring them to a warehouse for torture. We manage to rescue them, but each time the information they were questioned on is the same, how to kill one of us. It's only a matter of time before this hunter learns the method possibly even by accident due to the sorts of torture inflicted on some of the devil's. Pai was one of them, they came far too close to finding out with him, if we had gotten there a day or two later, they would have known." what if the man searching for how to kill one of them was the same human who had raised Nyx, someone she trusted and would possibly even go with in her current state.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Askel, Nyx’s father... he’s a mercenary too...” If these two were one and the same person... That would spell bad news for everyone. He was going to have to find a way to warn Nyx about her father of his suspicions were true. This... this would not be easy. His stomach was twisted in knots at the idea of Nyx winding up in the clutches of such a man. He didn’t want to believe such a person could exist, one that would kill the child they had adopted but he dealt far too much with his own father to let his hopes get the best of him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alisa jolted slightly at hearing the mans name, turning her head to look at Yuuki with a grimace. "You're absolutely sure Askel is her father?" that just didn't sound right, given the mans work she had encountered him directly several times before. "I didn't even know the man had a daughter, and he quickly earned a reputation for being more brutal than even us, he makes trophies out of the corpses of those he's defeated if the contract doesn't require he turn the whole thing in." she recalled looking at Askel donned in his hunting gear, realizing finally why his weapons were soo affective she shot up and punched the nearest wall, clearly seething.
"It makes sense now, how he was able to fight next to us back than, his weapons were made from things she shed overtime." the disgusting man had taken parts of the devil's body, relied on the fact things like her horns grew back quickly to use the razor sharp weapons to make his own stronger. "Were the hell was he keeping her when he went off for weeks at a time to hunt!" could it truly be possible Askel just left the young blood devil alone in his apartment every single time? She didn't even want to think about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ozaki was aghast when she punched a hole in his wall. As important as this was... his land lord was going to be pissed. “There goes the deposit.” He grumbled, being sure the jab would be loud enough to hear. You didn’t come into someone’s house and punch holes in the walls!
In hearing the next part he was a little more understanding, but still riled up that his wall was damaged. “Perhaps he had an accomplice or nanny of sorts that kept an eye on her while he was out...” Weapons made out of parts of her that had shed off... At least he had waited until they shed.... Hopefully. “I’m definitely sure his name was Askel.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alisa rolled her eyes slightly, it was expected she on occasion still became violent. "Don't worry, I'll arrange for someone to fix it." she looked at her hand, bloodied from the action, something of fondness expressed as a finger traced though the blood. "It makes sense how he can torment his captives so well, if he spent years watching her, bastard probably knew every ounce of pain she went through." and now he was using it to find out how to kill devil's, nothing good could come from that. Even if they were a violent? Still they held an important function within the world. "I hope so, I mean how can someone leave a child alone, especially one designed to live in a flock. Even as adults we rarely exist alone." they liked fighting and murder, not being alone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ozaki sympathized with that more than he liked to admit. Vampires too were designed to be in flocks. According to the research he’d done his own particular breed of vampires considered those they sired as their children. While he did not approve or like what his sire had done… If he had taken him with him afterwards… Maybe things wouldn’t have been so bad.
Even now Ozaki didn’t really have a proper flock. He was not exactly a normal vampire, and once others figured that out they tended to be a bit scornful of his anomalies. He did have his bats, and it was better than nothing. But bats were not particularly the best things to go for if you wanted a proper conversation.
But Nyx had had no one with her back then. Askel had left her alone to starve. So much so that she had gotten used to it, forgotten the level of pain she was in. He felt anger start to pulse its way up through his doubt towards his capabilities as a parent. It had not merely been incompetence then, it had been willful neglect.
“Tell me everything you know about him.” He said in a low voice. They had worked together in the past apparently. Surely they had to know some useful information. An ugly thought curled up in the back of his mind as he took out his journal so he could write down anything Alisa said past this point. Humans could be so cruel.