Darkest Before Dawn [Private]

Work never ends for Nai. Day in and day out it’s the same cycle she goes through but now there’s an added change, a break so to speak from repetition she’s had to endure her entire short life in her quest to prove her own mettle. If…she couldn’t perhaps prove it through physical means then why not, go through a route she enjoyed? Nai’s daily companion through her entire childhood has always been her love for reading. Her family’s library became a second domain for her. It was her sanctuary where she could literally forget even for a short period of time the reality life chose to give her.

In plain terms, the library her family held in high regard became her happy place. Maybe… its why she was so keen to prove her way to life by being of some use. Knowledge is power, it has its uses in practically every facet of life. Knowledge is what really make the world evolve. If…she could prove her existence that way then… her short life wouldn’t be such a waste.

Nai didn’t fear her own death. Funny isn’t it? What she should be fearing she’s not but what she shouldn’t she’s petrified of the thought of being useless. Wasting her life meant wasting the gift she’s been given. Even if… there’s been a few time where her thoughts did delve dark enough to make her wonder… what’s the point in her having this life when in all entirety was going to be a short lived one.

She wasn’t naïve enough to think, dare she say hoped against all odds she’ll live past her twentieth. She… wasn’t that optimistic. She might carry the image of being an optimistic soul but deep down… an act was just that. A mere act of falsities she employed to hide her own insecurities. She knows, deep down it’s a mere act but if it helps…lessen the blow towards those she cares then at this point her own feelings comes in at a close second. Not second, maybe third or fourth but the dots are there along with the pen for people to connect her own disassociation towards her own worth without nearly killing herself in the process.

The day ended the same for Nai. Hands full of books newly loaned from the library partnered with the near dull throbbing of her head from having knowledge shove deep into her cranium. Today their professor showed no mercy in their studies. She just finished two papers for his class and now she’s stuck doing another three for next week. Unholy! But Nai never did complain about work. She’s the sort who’ll bottle her complains up and do her work regardless of her physical condition or mental condition. A little strain never killed anyone, to her it never did. If it has then she would be dead a hundred times over with how expansive her work ethic is.

Rest? Hah… fat chance when it comes to Kurenai’s near zealous ways getting through her work. Speaking of which… the scent of tea broke through the train carrying mental notes she’s been going through back and forth for the last ten minutes during her walk from the main building towards the dorm areas. The fragrance of the dried leaves being steeped long enough in hot water made her stomach growled slightly. A reminder how she missed her lunch in favour of getting her other report done for her next class. But now that classes were done it was all coming back to her. “Afternoon Fang-kun.” She smiled back at the greeting. It was a system they developed, when he couldn’t outright say it with words Nai takes a gander at guessing his body language through trial and error. First few days had been her making mostly errors but she liked to think she’s getting better at this now.

She hadn’t played charades before… not even once but Fang’s a constant practice for her anyway. She might as well be on her way to becoming a pro at this. “Oh…what are you working on?” She queried catching sight of the Kotatsu table being occupied by several books on the surface. Walking inside with near silent steps aside from the faint clicking of her sandals on the wooden flooring. “Frankenstein?” She read through the title of one of the easy learning books on the table. Ahh now she recalled, she borrowed it for him and sometimes she gave him leave to use her own library card. Speaking of which…there was another matter, in signing Fang up for the school, she might have to talk with Kiran about this first though.

She mused gently placing her own set of books down onto the table to keep it from killing her back any further. And then….comes her laptop. Food can wait…right? Oh crud! She forgot! Her gaze once more turned back to the red headed teen sitting across from the table. “Are you hungry Fang-kun I think I can make some miso soup or something with seafood real quick… maybe even some udon if you like…” The girl offered.

Another who appreciated the joys of a simple homemade meal. Nai was hard press not to admit how Fang’s presence drastically altered her routine. For better or worse, he unknowingly gave her some sense of familiarity. Not because he’s a phoenix from a time before she was born. Three hundred years if they bothered with technicalities but because… Nai couldn’t exactly bring the emotions she felt to words. Pity, when she prided her expansive vocabulary as an arsenal in toying with words.

It takes creativity, her tutor once told her. To toy with the gentle fabrics written within a language while still being clear with her words. What sense would words play if the person she’s trying to convey to cant understand horse manure out of her words? Nothing, it made no sense whatsoever! She sighed, letting the passing breath flow from her lips and into the somewhat cooler air. A tint of warmth came from the heater underneath the kotatsu but that wasn’t anywhere near the kitchen. To think… a kitchen shouldn’t be cold at all but here in Mistere the opposite ring true during the coldest hit of winter. This was the month Jack Frost was having a hay day partying. She mused, flickering through the jokes she made about the old legend then back towards her task at hand.

Fang did say…he didn’t mind whatever she cooked. So for once she decided to do something quick and the same time splurge a bit. She noticed despite him not voicing it out the way he looked whenever she uttered seafood. It was faint but its there, the curiosity he tried to mask behind his shrugs and indifference. It’s there, Kurenai would willingly wager her entire allowance it existed. All it need…was a tad bit of poking. Which is what…she fully intended when she pulled a few ingredients from the cupboards. Wheat flour for the batter, lets see… herbs for flavouring and what else. She poked at her brain. Takoyaki was one of the easier dishes involving seafood she often did out of sheer comfort food material than actual taste.

She has fond memories involving the popular Hisakawan street snack. Now…for octopus. Just his luck, she had one thawing in the fridge before she left earlier this morning for class. She… intended to do something else with the octopus. Oden… She remembered now. The albino child shook her head, perhaps she’ll switch octopus with lobster or make a hasty run to the wet market for some fresh seafood. Not like that would be a problem for her. She’s been meaning to head to town anyway to fetch a certain floral tea she’s been meaning to add to her collection. Shaking another set of thought she got to work. Completely…and utterly oblivious to the fact Fang got his hands on her history project.

Another thing she didn’t mind. She knew the boy was careful enough with books. She trusted him to the point where she didn’t need to watch over his every movement as Kiran warned her numerous times never to let her guard down when it comes to the scarred red head. Tosh! Kurenai inwardly scoffed at her friend’s overreacted worries. Fang was completely and utterly harmless!
Yeah Nai thought with a sense of ease. Fang wouldn’t be the sort to flip out… oh if she only knew what kind of a headache she unwittingly jinxed.

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“Sugoiiii that man was right about that octopus it was fresh.” She sighed in content. Placing her chopsticks back on her empty plate that once had a serving of freshly made takoyaki. The sudden shift to her right momentarily took over her attention. Shifting her stare towards the silent redhead who scooted closer to her. The book now clearly in his hand as she nodded at his silent query when he opened it. Happily she explained, why wouldn’t she? When he wanted to learn it was all that she could to help him achieve his goal of learning then Kurenai would gladly help.

“Oh… it meant the sighing of the three major powers as the first step of peace.” She explained, half distracted by her own… doubts about the matter but as long as she hid it well. Then she was fine, her doubts frankly was due to how…she now knew how Arka treated its war prisoners. Lighthouses… by the love of kami how dare they… Recalling the way they found Fang still caused a heavy stone to rest in her gut. If she could, she empty her own stomach clean of her meal in disgust. She would have done so too if she didn’t have an iron grip over the mask she still held infront of her new roommate.
It wasn’t time… not that she feared showing her true side to her birdy roommate but the fact remained she barely knew him as such---

The thought stopped. It stopped the very second she felt the boy beside him stiffened in a very un fang like manner. She guessed he’s jumpy, but this reaction of his… was different. So different that her brows furrowed to mark her own confusion. “Fang-kun?...” The girl warily asked, switching her gaze towards his hand to the old portrait of man she didn’t recognized printed on the book. Unfortunately for the both of them her own distain recognized Fang’s former prison far too clearly it was then. Did she realized both of their errors. “Oh crud…” She groaned before shutting down the book before it did further damage.

As if it hadn’t already? “Fang-kun?” The worried girl warily followed after her friend. The heaving, the sound of him emptying his gut on the toilet worried her further but nothing… nothing compared to the sudden transformation happening to Fang’s weakened body. Another talent? Kiran didn’t tell her about this… for the benefit of giving her friend the benefit of a doubt, she’ll say he didn’t know… she HOPED to Kami he didn’t or Kiran was going to get one hell of an earful. “Fang-kun?...” The wary child took a hesitant step towards him. Her eyes wide from the surprise of seeing his once scarlet hair shift to the same shade as her. White… pure white…and for some unknown reason… it was slowly growing as well. That…cant be right? “Fang?...” She tried calling his name. When that didn’t work she reached for his shoulder.

As if things weren’t bad enough. The warning signs were there, roaring through the boy’s darkening aura. Setting up as a warning Nai only needed to heed. But did she? Hah. Fat chance, not when he unwittingly triggered her worry for him. Why wouldn’t she be worried? She took care of him for the last few weeks in a way he grew on her without her really knowing how.

She’d say several excuses but neither were the answer to how and when because frankly, it just happened. She… hadn’t noticed it until it was brought to her attention. She’s a bit, oblivious to these sorts of things until the last minute when she finally takes notice of its existence and when she does notice it. She leaves it be, they’re friends right? For the past couple of weeks since Fang started to move they developed their own silent friendship. A voiceless one that neither had to verbally say. It’s there anyway, no reason to verbally say something that’s bluntly being shown through their actions. It was in this regard in how Fang’s actions caught her completely of guard.

Smacked. The sound of skin harshly slapping her hand crackled on her skin. Making the girl flinched from surprise as well as the shock she barely had time to restrain from appearing on her face. Fang?... The rage bubbled from his face, clear as day he looked completely animalistic. Like all reason faded from his mind to be replaced completely by a primal need to lash out. She was no psychologist. But it’s clear as heck to her that the sweet Fang she got to know shortly was now gone into hiding. His common mind fled to somewhere she couldn’t reach.

“Fang?...” The questionable shocked that followed his attack and the yelp that fled through her lips as the once meek boy roughly grabbed her by her shoulders. Blood, red sanguine blood bled free as those talons of his pierced through delicate alabaster flesh. Snow against the freshly spilled red liquid became far too apparently as the precious liquid soaked into her kimono. She flinched, then gasped as the air was promptly shoved straight out of her lungs. Her back was still barely healing from another meet and greet with her bookcase a few days prior. And now… the pain ricocheting from her sore back intensified through the sudden slamming of it on the wall. “Fang…! Snap out of it…! Please…!” Her pleas fell through the boy’s raged filled ears.

Primal instincts indeed… he completely and utterly went primal on her! Sure…she expected damage, he’s a damage boy. But to this extent?... Through all that pain she still wondered what the hell she gotten herself into… Fear?... Should she fear him? In a split second it did appear in her eyes, nearly clouding her judgment until she recalled the gentle façade of the boy she knew. And it was in that moment she knew… she just couldn’t be wary of him for too long. Call her a fool if you must, but she… hardly felt the need to prioritize her body for god knows how long.

It’s okay! It’s okay… it’s just her…she’ll be fine. “Itai…” The girl bit back another yelp of pain when he promptly tossed her out like a bag of trash. The harsh hit as the force followed by gravity itself colliding itself onto her small frame. Sending her smaller body crashing with as much force to be able to temporarily stun her on impact.

Ouch… oh ouch the unholy pain vibrating from her shoulder and arm which was the first to land. She doubted the bone broke, but the force was enough to cause some kind of damage to it. Moving it sparked a catalyst of pain echoing from her injured limb. Whats worse Fang’s onslaught didn’t look like it was ending… A slash here, and there as his claws practically raked through her delicate skin. It was in a sense a bit like tearing through paper. With the paper bleeding red liquid right after each tear.

“Fang please…” She tried… even though she knew her pleas would fall on deaf ears. The pain was too much, that she hardly heard the deafening crash of her book case or the echoes of her table being tossed aside. Hopefully it wasn’t broken, it’s hard to get a decent kotatsu nowadays. She laid there for what seemed like hours but in truth it was just a few minutes before she roughly pulled herself up on shaking feet. She had to stop him, she cant let him go rampaging out there when the professors can easily turned him into phoenix liver! The thought while funny, cause her to pale at the mere chance of it. Fang’s too weak… she struggled to her door, ignoring the fact she’s looked like someone who just fought a tiger and lived to tell the tale. Blood trickled down in a small flow from her wounds but the girl didn’t pay any heed to her injuries she had a Fang to stop.

She had to hurry… she needed to hurry! The girl’s struggling movements echoed the chaos reigning around her. Screams, unholy screams rang around the entire hallway from students struggling to see the commotion to panicked voices whispering at the maddened ‘demon’ rampaging outside. It already started… Fang had to pick the worse time to go on a full blown rage induced rampage. Half blamed the book and her idiocy for bringing it anywhere near Fang. Note… the lesson here is watch which book she lets the boy read.

The only blessing here is that he’s still learning the modern tongue. If he wasn’t… lord help the library when he gets triggered by every damn book in there but that’s besides the point… There wouldn’t be a future rage if any of the professors got wind of him…. And then there’s the repair costs. Little things but things that still help occupy her head instead of only listening to the fretful panic she had for the weakened boy.

He’s not supposed to be expending this much energy. Note how her thoughts barely dabbled on her own well-being. It hardly existed, why…would she bother when she knew already that her body wont be long in the world and her actions might as well shorten her already short life span but that was irrelevant to her.
If she died, then that was it.

“OH DEAR HADES.” She heard a gasp from the side. As a couple of students stared horrified at her current state. Wounds… bleeding gaping wounds, and an arm hanging limply on the side. She looked far worse than she feels. Since she had one hell of a tolerance to pain. From all her visits to the hospital during her childhood it was hard not to develop one. “I’m fine…” She assured them but both girls didn’t look at all like they were buying her words. Appearance meant something, and hers didn’t look okay. One brunette decided to point that out but again she shook her head and was moments away from responding when another crash pulled her out of the thought. “I’m sorry but I need to…!” She rushed, failing to finish the last few words before she wearily ran out.

Just as she left… the girl’s companion caught the red droplets on the ground. “Is…that blood?...” The girl nervously pointed towards the drops following the girl’s exit. The girl…was damn bleeding.
Oh dear lord… it didn’t help her condition when she let Fang get his grip on her again. It happened, once she got within ranged of his arm she was once more in his mercy. Maybe… it wouldn’t be too much of a bad fate to die right? Her pleading jewel eyes bore deep down the golden orbs he has. “Please Fang stop….” Her voice shook at the sight of the damage he caused. Black flames weakly swirled around him. Freezing whatever it touched in a way that flames shouldn’t be capable of doing. She struggled to breathed through the tight grip he had over her throat. Gods… he had a grip on him. She made an attempt of an inner joke but it fell flat inside her head. The prospect of her being ended by this guy was all too real. But before…she further chances to entertain the thought the unmistakable echo of bone snapping forced her to look up just as Fang’s grip suddenly went slack.

Before she knew it… he was on the ground unmoving and seemingly dead and behind the body was stood Kiran with an expression she hardly saw on her birdy friend’s face. Stress didn’t do her well. Stress born from shock and pain? Shock from what she just witnessed. Kiran outright murdered his friend… he killed Fang! “K-Kiran what did you…just do?!” She whispered in shocked, her body still shaking from coming to terms with what happened. Too much shock you see, her mind was trying to process the truck load that’s been dumped straight onto her shoulders. At first she wanted to scream at Kiran but then… his saving grace had been the clear indication that Fang is a bird…. He’s a phoenix the boy would come back… but still it didn’t sit well with her what Kiran had to do…
First though…she needed to reclaim her composure right after it slipped its way out of the window Fang busted. And just like his exit, his egg was chucked right back to the room. Another reason to openly gawk at the raven head phoenix. “I’m… going to lose my own heart over a coronary from the both of you…” She shakily chuckled. No…it still was trying to sink it. So far her mind was getting overwhelmed by it.

A wince here or two then it came Kiran’s frantic panic. A sigh bubbled on her throat in response. “You worry too much…” She winced. This one she failed to hide as she tried moving her numb arm. “I…just need some bandages…” She needed more than bandages when shes already getting light headed. “Lost….blood…” She mumbled.

Who knew…. Silent Fang has a hidden berserker side he managed to keep well hidden. Time has a way to change people. The experiences they gain through each situation presented to them. Knowing the hell Fang went through it was only a matter of time before it found another way to show itself. Berserker of all ways… Nai wanted to say she didn’t see it coming but logically she should have seen the signs. It’s always the quiet ones that tends to bottle up their emotions. Fang shouldn’t be any different…

As the saying goes, it takes another person who bottles their own feelings to know one who does the same. There were times when Kurenai does exactly that. She bottles her real feelings deep down while pulling out forced smiles to hide her own insecurities behind a mask of false confidence. If she could fool herself. Psychologically speaking… would it work? Theory is different from practical application. She doubted the world evolved that way… but it’s the thought that matters right?...

Kurenai was too much of a realist to fully believe it. But if it works to hide her doubts well enough from the prying glances of her friends and family. Then by all means, she’ll dance the game of lies.
Nai hardly voiced any complains as Kiran lifted her small frame into her his arms. The girl’s normal reaction towards such an act was strange enough absent. When both knew, how the young albino would adamantly refuse being carried around when she has her own two feet to walk with. Despite her current state they both know she would still do it. She never liked the idea of burdening others with her problems. That clearly included the idea of her asking help when she could still function on her own.

A grumble, that’s it. A small whined barely containing anything worth understanding aside from the a muddled up ‘sleepy’ that was somewhere between a few other inaudible words that didn’t sound intelligible at best. Blood loss…. Got her good. From the way she was already slurring on her words. Definitely not a good sign… she never told them she was an easy bleeder now did she? Well now… he knew. “I….dont remember…” She mumbled, once Kiran placed her down on the couch. Everything spun in her eyes as she struggled to maintain a sense of awareness before eventually closing her eyes. He’s right, she didn’t like it. She nearly flinched when she felt the fabric of her ruined clothing being pulled away by her friend to get a closer view of her wounds but stilled herself enough for him to get a good look at worse of the scratches Fang inflicted on her. One deep cut on her side and the other on the same dislocated arm that looks to be the worse of the bleeding offenders.

It wasn’t stopping…blood red liquid quickly seeped through the cloth Kiran placed over to stifle the flow of blood from her wounds. Weakly the girl cracked an eye to glance at him, the dizziness barely halted but she numbly nodded at his request but seriously, what can she say when her mind felt like fudge at the moment. “Don’t… blame Fang…” She mumbled weakly.