The Small Hells of Life (Sharaku)

His mind was a mess. His body, while it did seem whole, could come undone at any moment…and that action he had just performed when the other got in his face? It had left him more than drained of all energy. It had put him in a whirlwind of conflict within himself.

The other had came to his aid when he didn’t have to…Risked his own well being because the Nightmare was too afraid and weak due to lack of food to actual do something for himself to prevent the matter. Even after all that, the other was still willing to aid him and had even unlocked his negativity to try and give him strength. And how did he repay him in the end?

He tried to harm him just for getting into his face….Why? Fear? Yes there was fear, but even so he knew he wasn’t in danger of harm. That the other was simply demonstrating, so why…why couldn’t he control the reaction or do something less threatening to the other, who thankfully didn’t seem that badly injured? But still what if he had done something mentally to him or internally inside thanks to the type of attack he had used?

The confusion, self-loathing, guilt, regret, sadness…all of it came together into a blend of despair that threaten to drive him over the edge, making him emotionally unstable and in turn stirring up the beast who was seemed to make the situation worse with his own version of madness he wanted unleash on more than just Sharaku. Rika struggled internally to gain control, but the creature wasn’t giving him any openings, so the ugly dance continued inwardly.

On the outside, the Nightmare had lost all fight and emotions, his usual golden eyes a cloudy grey and his skin tone become faded and washed out like an old painting as he watched the other, who was quiet for a moment before responding to his words in a flat way; however, he wouldn’t flinch as he slipped to the ground using his arms to hold himself up and to keep from faceplanting into the ground. Small cracks would appear in the skin that was exposed as he held himself up for the moment.

Still in the odd daze, the Nightmare would hear the word given back and close his eyes tiredly.

“We Surreal beings can be what we like or nothing if we so chose. We do not have to be a human form or behave like a human, but Rika chooses to do that. Not sure why….It’s stupid at times….but what do you do if one is…blind to the truth? How do you make them see…listen...?” The voice remained soft and drained as the Nightmare trailed off for a moment as he shook his head. “He would want to disappear forever…you still think that wise to do? Though maybe it would shut them up….I don’t know…it's hard to think when they fight. Anyway, you are right. Even if you got us all to the room….without eating much, it would take a long while to recover….There is a crystal like object full of negativity there though…I suppose if it is close enough. He would eat after getting over himself…..As for the negativity you’ve provided right now…I wonder if I can force the body to eat when those two are fighting….It would give energy needed right now versus waiting…he'd be pissed, thinking he doesn't deserve it after what he has done to you, but honestly I don't fucking care right now." He'd give an emotionless smile. "I want to eat...but...that is hard to do when you the people in control aren't in control...Maybe I can...override... them..."

Grey eyes would reopen and look up at you sleepily still aware of you, the state of this odd puppet mode oddly logical and calm though why or how that was a mystery for now. Even so it seemed to be considering the situation as its eyes traced the path way of the negative emotions from the other though for the moment it could not act or fully crumble.